never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
