I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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