I am in a vortex of obligation.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
