I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
