East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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