dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
