The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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