Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No subtext here. People are naked.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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