Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its about making memories worth repressing
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
