I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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