ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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