I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
