How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize