Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
