would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My bed smells like the plague
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
