I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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