And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
