Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
