Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
