i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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