im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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