His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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