roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
