can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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