I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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