More tranny stories later!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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