found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
is wine microwaveable?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
