my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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