No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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