I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
