don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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