at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
