Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
