You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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