i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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