Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
