So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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