his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
