toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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