Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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