The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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