I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
