HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
