I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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