I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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