Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
