If i come over, it means nothing
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
