You're completely useless in the revolution.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
