Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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