its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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