Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
