You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
