My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
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And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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