they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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