so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize