the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
