Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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