Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
