I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
